Clerk: “So, what kind of look are you going for?”
Straight Friend: “I honestly don’t know, I don’t usually wear makeup. Help? You know makeup better than I do.”
Me: “Well, what do you like on other people?”
SF: “I don’t know? I don’t really pay attention to that kind of thing.”
Me: “Yeah, I guess I spend a lot more time looking at women than you do.”
Clerk: “Oh? What do you do?”
Me, cheerfully deadpan: “Lesbianism.”
Clerk: “…oh! I thought you were going to say, like, social work.”
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……I lose words for how much I love you I just start cheering in waiting rooms
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